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“So you and Colin had unprotected sex twelve days after you started your period?” Mom asked. I nodded yes, confused why she had me repeat the answer.“If you are going to follow church teachings on birth control, we are going to need to get you properly trained in fertility signs and timing,” Mom said. “What is the shortest number of days between periods this past year?”“Twenty-seven,” I answered.“The longest?”“Thirty-one,” I replied.“OK, to calculate safe times of the month for unprotected sex, subtract twenty from your shortest time between periods. You get seven. Unprotected sex should be safe from day 1, the first day of your period until Day 7. The next couple or so weeks is unsafe.”“OK,” I agreed.“Here is the nine you remembered,” Mom explained. “Subtract nine from the number of days in your longest period: 31 – 9 = 22. You are safe between Day 1 and 7 and Day 22 and when you begin your next period. What day are you in your cycle today?”“Um ... Day 12?” I asked. I very clearly. My girlfriend, Kate, loves going out for dancing and drinking. I don’t mind the dancing; I’m just not that good at it.We usually hang out for a couple of hours until the music’s thump and alcohol’s buzz gets her horny, then we go home and fuck for another hour or so.That night Kate was more playful than usual. Between dances – which means during drinking – she would teasingly rub my inner thigh occasionally pressing against my crotch just often enough that I would keep an erection. Did I mention she loves keeping me with a bulge; it turns her on more thinking that other girls get turned on seeing it.We’d be sitting at our table – her hand painfully close to my crotch – and she’d nod toward some girl dancing or standing at the bar and say something like: “You think that girl has big nipples?”I’d play along – believe me it makes the sex better – and say something like: “Which girl? The one with the 40 double-d’s practically hanging out her dress or the little thing beside her maybe.
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